Nerves

Hello,

Lately I've been harnessing some feelings about this trip thing.

First of all, I need to be armed and dangerous to battle Satan while I'm over there, or I'm dead meat. Well, I know I'll never be "dead meat" per se', especially if God is on my side, but you know what I mean.

I know I am supposed to do this. It could not have come at a better time in my life. Lately I've been thinking about how I have been here for so long and that what I need is to get out, which may be true. While it is dangerous to get "out there", I think it's just as dangerous to me spiritually to stay here and mope around the same place I've been almost my entire life. While some of my friends have moved out for college and gotten to experience getting used to a new place, I have never done that. I have NEVER been to a new place longer than three weeks of my entire life. To me, that is unacceptable.

I feel this longing to learn German, and I always have. From my studies I know the best way to attain fluency is to live in the country. For some reason, I have to do this. So I'm going to live in Germany. Wild, isn't it?

The thought, though, of getting out of Orlando thrills, yet terrifies me just as much. I need to spread my wings, learn how to catch trains and buses, live in a studio apartment, brave a cold winter, and run along side a river! I can't do those things here in Orlando.

Anyway... my life has been recently a little "blah". I have this theory that God is stripping my normal life from me without me noticing, and refusing to give me what I think I want at the moment. Which is fine, He's totally allowed to do that, well, because He's God and all. What I mean is, while I'm sitting here lamenting over the uneventfulness of my life at the moment, God is sitting there saying "Just you wait, you'll see!" And He is going to show me a new life, something I was meant to live. That's not to say I don't love my family and friends here. But my parents would be the first to tell you that they don't like it here much anymore either. So it's not just me.

Billy got a gig over in Germany for two months playing the keyboard, I think. I wonder if we'll be there at the same time, and we can visit each other.

Wrote back to Gabrielle today... can't wait for her and Tobias and Maxi und Maria to come!!

Tomorrow, Kerstin and I are meeting at Timber Creek to hang out with Frau Gildner. Joy is going to be teaching at TC next school year! How cool is that?

Well that's it for German news... I'll catch up later.

~Caiti~