I have been home for four weeks now. Everyone's been asking how the trip was and how I'm feeling now that I've been at home. I don't know why I am writing this blog entry because the people who ask how it is being home never read the blog while I was gone anyway, so I doubt the following information will ever reach them, anyway.
Ok, that was a little depressing.
Anyway, my wonderful friend Viktor came to visit a week after I returned. The two weeks that followed were two weeks of my life that I will most certainly never forget. Even after almost an entire year abroad that anyone would call unforgettable, these two weeks in my own country somehow stand out from the others. Truthfully, it was a time to truly be myself again. It was a fusing of my two worlds. That is a chance I won't have for a very long time. Viktor was a big part of my world when I was in Europe, and I'm glad that he got to come here to "this" world, because as funny as it sounds, that helped prove to me that my "other" world was real and meaningful to someone. I am realizing that most of my friends here will never really know that part of me, that part of me that speaks a language they don't, that part of me that experienced something that most of them probably never will... I will never be able to explain anything to a point to where anyone will see that it wasn't "just a trip". And even if, after this fusing of two realities, I had to say goodbye to a huge and wonderful part of one of them, I'm somehow okay with that. I guess I have to be. I never imagined that I would have this standing in my way, though, the struggle to be "you" for people who wouldn't know "you" had they encountered you in the "other" world. Most people I know who go to another country stick around with people that speak their own language, who do the same things they do, who look like them, who have been to where they live, who actually like where they live. And they don't stay very long. That's the thing. They may not even want to stay longer. It takes a long time to really ground yourself, to really become that "other" you in that other place. Apparently its the deepest desire, the highest goal of most exchange students...to really integrate themselves. And everyone is ready to be there, but no one prepares you for leaving. Not just the physical separation of you from that new home, but the mental, emotional separation. It is one thing to go to a country, stay for a while, and leave without ever really growing any roots. Never having the intention to stick around. But I felt at home there. I could speak the language. I can get a job there. Could I say the same thing if the last year had been "just a trip"? I don't think so.
I will return. Another thing that made my "trip" different.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
First few days back at home
Well the flight was fabulous, for starters! It was worth every penny flying business class back home. We ended up having a 50 minute delay due to the air conditioner being out on the plane. In the 24-seat section, there were only 7 of us and three attendants. So I had two seats to myself (one for me and one for all of my crap) As soon as we got on we were offered drinks and the attendants knew all of our names :-) Our lunch was great, I had shrimp in coconut sauce over saffron rice and veggies (including water chestnuts, which I LOVE!) I watched three movies on my personal TV-- In the Valley of Elah, PS: I Love You, and Notting Hill... I also caught part of I Am Legend. So many movies were offered I couldn't watch all the ones I wanted to :-(.
I was one of the first ones off the plane and although I was tired, by this time I was really excited about seeing my folks. The drive home was long--three and a half hours (I flew into Ft. Myers), but I had a lot to talk about so it wasn't that bad at all. And when I got home, my sister and BECKY and a cake were waiting for me. I was SO surprised!! Later, Jeremy came, too! We ate cake and chatted and they were only there for about an hour because I was so tired I got a bit delirious after a while, ha ha!!
Thursday I woke up at like 5:30 am... I was wide awake and just couldn't go back to sleep. It was okay, though, I just went with Mom when she left. We went to Marshall's where I found a great pair of leather flip-flops from Clark's for $20, which, for that brand, is practically stealing, ha ha... after that we went to IKEA!!!!!!! And I must say that in comparison to Germany's IKEA in terms of assortment, its the same, but the prices are lower. Mom and I found some fabulous new furniture for my room and before we left, we snagged some 50 cent hot dogs and $1 ice cream cones! In Germany, the ice cream cones cost €1, which is about a buck and 58 cents at the moment... we put the furniture together when we got home. Court pretty much did it all herself, she is really good at putting this stuff together!! I worked on clearing out all of my stuff from my old dressers and desk. Crap, I should have taken before and after pics... didn't think about that... I just finished everything about 40 minutes ago, and the place looks great. It has been a lot of work. Mom and I were going to have a yard sale tomorrow but now its kind of up in the air since her ad didn't show up in the paper today... needless to say that after plowing through all my stuff, there is quite a lot to sell! I threw away all kinds of crap from perfect attendance certificates to pre-calculus assignments to 9th grade biology notes. Everything is GONE :-) I don't have the slightest idea as to why I thought any of that stuff would be valuable... a lot of my college stuff is gone, too... like anthropology and even some COM notes... I figure I know it or I don't, there won't be any time to read it anyway.
I did take some time to read some of my old stuff... from 10th grade, five years ago... my plans were to move in with a friend in Germany after high school and then start college afterwards, "worst case scenario, I'll go to UCF"... I don't remember feeling like I said I did or thinking any of those things. I read a lot of poems about my cat that I wrote when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, and ones about how much I hated Danielle Stevens in the 7th grade. I found my old scrapbook that I never finished, which included a collage of the Hanson brothers in their early days... lots of old books, German magazines from 2004 that I can actually understand now... and MAN was I skinny junior year!!!
Overall I have seen in going through my old things and sorting my new things just how much things can change in a short period of time... I am glad I wrote as much as I did, even though I remember back then how I wished I could keep a journal. I think what comes naturally and unplanned is the best way to document your life.
It is weird being home... before going to bed on my first night home, I saw my wall calendar, which was still open to September 2007... Mom had left it as it was. I suddenly felt scared! Even on the way home I just was overcome with the feeling that I had only been gone a month or so, but seeing that calendar made me feel like I had traveled back to the past, back to the time right before I left. I haven't gone through all the things I brought back with me from my travels yet... I unpacked my suitcases today (where the heck did I put my black USB!?), but set that box of stuff aside. I need to go through my pictures and start choosing some to put into an album... I think I will print all the pictures I want in the album before I even buy the album.... or I may do a Photobook and have that printed...
And after the 4 days I spent in Ingolstadt, it's hard to want to come back to Germany... I don't plan on going back for another year at least... a lot is just really up in the air because I don't know if I will be getting in with Siemens this fall or not... if I do, it could change things up a bit. I left a lot of crap at the Pauligs', so I have to go back at SOME point. Let me just get my life back in order, get a new job, start school again, and THEN I will worry about all of that.
I will still be traveling a bit for the next two weeks or so. I am here until Thursday morning, then it's off to meet Viktor in NYC for a few days. Then we'll be in Florida. I'll stay in Florida, and he will go back to Germany on the 17th... I don't know if I will feel sorry for him or not. Right now, I like Florida, because it's "new" again, whereas Koblenz had gotten old after 10 months. And I probably will continue liking Florida until it rains on Christmas again this year ;-)
There is just a lot of work still left to be done... a pile of mail to open, too!
Love,
Caitlin
PS: Does anyone want to buy my Mickey Mouse snow globe collection?
I was one of the first ones off the plane and although I was tired, by this time I was really excited about seeing my folks. The drive home was long--three and a half hours (I flew into Ft. Myers), but I had a lot to talk about so it wasn't that bad at all. And when I got home, my sister and BECKY and a cake were waiting for me. I was SO surprised!! Later, Jeremy came, too! We ate cake and chatted and they were only there for about an hour because I was so tired I got a bit delirious after a while, ha ha!!
Thursday I woke up at like 5:30 am... I was wide awake and just couldn't go back to sleep. It was okay, though, I just went with Mom when she left. We went to Marshall's where I found a great pair of leather flip-flops from Clark's for $20, which, for that brand, is practically stealing, ha ha... after that we went to IKEA!!!!!!! And I must say that in comparison to Germany's IKEA in terms of assortment, its the same, but the prices are lower. Mom and I found some fabulous new furniture for my room and before we left, we snagged some 50 cent hot dogs and $1 ice cream cones! In Germany, the ice cream cones cost €1, which is about a buck and 58 cents at the moment... we put the furniture together when we got home. Court pretty much did it all herself, she is really good at putting this stuff together!! I worked on clearing out all of my stuff from my old dressers and desk. Crap, I should have taken before and after pics... didn't think about that... I just finished everything about 40 minutes ago, and the place looks great. It has been a lot of work. Mom and I were going to have a yard sale tomorrow but now its kind of up in the air since her ad didn't show up in the paper today... needless to say that after plowing through all my stuff, there is quite a lot to sell! I threw away all kinds of crap from perfect attendance certificates to pre-calculus assignments to 9th grade biology notes. Everything is GONE :-) I don't have the slightest idea as to why I thought any of that stuff would be valuable... a lot of my college stuff is gone, too... like anthropology and even some COM notes... I figure I know it or I don't, there won't be any time to read it anyway.
I did take some time to read some of my old stuff... from 10th grade, five years ago... my plans were to move in with a friend in Germany after high school and then start college afterwards, "worst case scenario, I'll go to UCF"... I don't remember feeling like I said I did or thinking any of those things. I read a lot of poems about my cat that I wrote when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, and ones about how much I hated Danielle Stevens in the 7th grade. I found my old scrapbook that I never finished, which included a collage of the Hanson brothers in their early days... lots of old books, German magazines from 2004 that I can actually understand now... and MAN was I skinny junior year!!!
Overall I have seen in going through my old things and sorting my new things just how much things can change in a short period of time... I am glad I wrote as much as I did, even though I remember back then how I wished I could keep a journal. I think what comes naturally and unplanned is the best way to document your life.
It is weird being home... before going to bed on my first night home, I saw my wall calendar, which was still open to September 2007... Mom had left it as it was. I suddenly felt scared! Even on the way home I just was overcome with the feeling that I had only been gone a month or so, but seeing that calendar made me feel like I had traveled back to the past, back to the time right before I left. I haven't gone through all the things I brought back with me from my travels yet... I unpacked my suitcases today (where the heck did I put my black USB!?), but set that box of stuff aside. I need to go through my pictures and start choosing some to put into an album... I think I will print all the pictures I want in the album before I even buy the album.... or I may do a Photobook and have that printed...
And after the 4 days I spent in Ingolstadt, it's hard to want to come back to Germany... I don't plan on going back for another year at least... a lot is just really up in the air because I don't know if I will be getting in with Siemens this fall or not... if I do, it could change things up a bit. I left a lot of crap at the Pauligs', so I have to go back at SOME point. Let me just get my life back in order, get a new job, start school again, and THEN I will worry about all of that.
I will still be traveling a bit for the next two weeks or so. I am here until Thursday morning, then it's off to meet Viktor in NYC for a few days. Then we'll be in Florida. I'll stay in Florida, and he will go back to Germany on the 17th... I don't know if I will feel sorry for him or not. Right now, I like Florida, because it's "new" again, whereas Koblenz had gotten old after 10 months. And I probably will continue liking Florida until it rains on Christmas again this year ;-)
There is just a lot of work still left to be done... a pile of mail to open, too!
Love,
Caitlin
PS: Does anyone want to buy my Mickey Mouse snow globe collection?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Ballin'
Wow! I am in the business class lounge at the Munich airport and it ROCKS! I am about to go board the plane (which bisher has NO delay, YEAH!) and I am on a computer in the lounge which is freeeeeeee to use. I also picked up a few magazines for free that usually cost like $4 each and had some free food and Fanta... plus a comfy leather chair. Blows Düsseldorf's lounge right out of the water!!
Anyway, better get moving, I will see you Heimgebliebene soon!
Bis dann,
Caitlin
Anyway, better get moving, I will see you Heimgebliebene soon!
Bis dann,
Caitlin
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Survival
Here I am. I've been in Ingolstadt since Friday evening. That means it has been less than 48 hours and it feels like 48 years. We are having a good time! Yesterday I tagged along to a shopping trip that took two hours in two stores. Later in the afternoon I biked with Maxi to play mini-golf and lost. We ate dinner and then went to pick up Maria from a birthday party, where we mortified her in front of her friends when Gaby said "Hey everyone, we are only talking English". Maxi adamantly and obnoxiously insisted that Gaby take them to the playground for "five minutes" which turned out to be 20, at the end of which Maxi broke his wrist. We spent an hour or two in the ER and when we got home, I went to bed as soon as I could and slept until 10am this morning. Mongo's is therefore cancelled. I'm bummed, but after getting on the scale last night and confirming that yes, I have gained a few pounds back at least, that's ok. Filled out the papers for my new German bank account this morning, hopefully the Euros'll be coming in soon :-) Sending my last €650 or so with Tobi on Tuesday to get changed to dollars... for once I am hoping the exchange rate to be at its worst so I can get the most dollars possible, ha ha...
The next few days are going to go by incredibly slow. However I will really enjoy it as much as I can. Looking forward to coming home, though. REALLY looking forward to it. Ingolstadt is the place to be to get that feeling, I think.
That is all for me for now, going to go pass the time in another way...
Caitlin
The next few days are going to go by incredibly slow. However I will really enjoy it as much as I can. Looking forward to coming home, though. REALLY looking forward to it. Ingolstadt is the place to be to get that feeling, I think.
That is all for me for now, going to go pass the time in another way...
Caitlin
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Last Days in Koblenz
Wow, it sucks so much to say goodbye to the people I met here. Why is it always when I leave that I realize exactly what and/or who it is I am leaving? That is, you are never truly grateful for what you had until you don't have it anymore or, have to leave it. Ugh. I hate it.
Last night I went to the Koblenzer Extrablatt for the last time... I love that place man... I must admit, if the next place I go doesn't have an Extrablatt, I ain't goin'. It's just that simple. Coming back to Germany won't be the same as this time, though... I will meet completely new people, do completely new things, see completely new places. One can't expect to have the same experience twice in a row... and who would want it that way, anyway? Anyway all of my best friends here came and we had a lovely time... happy hour, baby :-) T'was grand... Jenny made me an AWESOME cake with cats and suitcases and a whole slew of other wonderful things, and from a few other friends I received sweet Koblenz mementos and cards that made me cry :-( after that and a few sad, tearful good-byes, some of us went to the Irish Pub for karaoke, where we stayed for an hour or so. Niko (my first friend here) and I sang Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" and it was really fun.
And this morning Lea and I cleaned up her apartment a bit and then met at 12 with 6 or 7 others to eat the fabulous cake. It is hard to eat something that pretty, man. She said she spent about 10 hours working on it in total! INSANE. Nevertheless I am sooo grateful for the cake and even more grateful to have friends like these!!
I have posted pictures of the last few days for your enjoyment...
Caitlin
Last night I went to the Koblenzer Extrablatt for the last time... I love that place man... I must admit, if the next place I go doesn't have an Extrablatt, I ain't goin'. It's just that simple. Coming back to Germany won't be the same as this time, though... I will meet completely new people, do completely new things, see completely new places. One can't expect to have the same experience twice in a row... and who would want it that way, anyway? Anyway all of my best friends here came and we had a lovely time... happy hour, baby :-) T'was grand... Jenny made me an AWESOME cake with cats and suitcases and a whole slew of other wonderful things, and from a few other friends I received sweet Koblenz mementos and cards that made me cry :-( after that and a few sad, tearful good-byes, some of us went to the Irish Pub for karaoke, where we stayed for an hour or so. Niko (my first friend here) and I sang Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" and it was really fun.
And this morning Lea and I cleaned up her apartment a bit and then met at 12 with 6 or 7 others to eat the fabulous cake. It is hard to eat something that pretty, man. She said she spent about 10 hours working on it in total! INSANE. Nevertheless I am sooo grateful for the cake and even more grateful to have friends like these!!
I have posted pictures of the last few days for your enjoyment...
Caitlin
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A Few Steps Closer...
Well, one week from today I will already be in the airplane on the way home (HOPEFULLY, the last two times I have flown LTU from Germany there have been delays... but both of those other times were out of Düsseldorf, not Munich, so we'll hope for the best...) and will have about seven hours left of the flight.
Right now I am living with my mate, Lea, the Australian. hi world! (says Lea). We started packing up her stuff today. Yesterday and today I got all my money back from Studierendenwerk. Tonight we are going to the Extrablatt *tear* one last time to say good-bye to everyone (for now, muahahaha). It sucks today because the weather was so nice this morning and GUESS WHAT, now it's raining. FABULOUS! My hair's going to frizz like crazy, just like at home, ha ha...
Yeah and tomorrow? We don't know yet.
Peace out, ya'll.
Right now I am living with my mate, Lea, the Australian. hi world! (says Lea). We started packing up her stuff today. Yesterday and today I got all my money back from Studierendenwerk. Tonight we are going to the Extrablatt *tear* one last time to say good-bye to everyone (for now, muahahaha). It sucks today because the weather was so nice this morning and GUESS WHAT, now it's raining. FABULOUS! My hair's going to frizz like crazy, just like at home, ha ha...
Yeah and tomorrow? We don't know yet.
Peace out, ya'll.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Things will be different next time
Okay, I admit it, and flat out: I brought a little too much stuff. Still, I don't regret bringing two suitcases :-) I definitely need both of them. I have to mention that I am sooo lucky to have such fabulous, very generous relatives that are letting me leave pretty much half of what I brought in their cellar for the next time (and yes, there will be a next time, I didn't learn this language for nothing, you know!).
Next time I am DEFINITELY...
-- NOT bringing so much face cream under the impression that no one uses face cream with SPF in Germany
-- NOT bringing ANY books with me (a good news magazine per month will last me... those Germans are wordy!)... they are just too heavy and I didn't read most of them.
-- still going to bring a stock of makeup from home because it is seriously ridiculously expensive here AND they don't make what I use anyway
-- not going to have to buy nearly as much stuff since I have everything I need already :-D yeah!
Well that is it for now... as for the packing and cleaning situation, I am sooo close to being done it isn't even funny :-D in Business class I am allowed to bring 2 pieces of hand luggage so I am bringing my little rolly and my backpack... in my little rolly there is nothing but BOOKS and CDs and DVDs... they never weigh hand luggage, and I am allowed to bring two 6kg (14 lbs, lol). I am also moving in with Lea from Tuesday through Friday morning. Should be fun! Except we wont have ANY space with all my stuff in there. But we will make it work somehow, I imagine.
Cheers,
Caitlin
Next time I am DEFINITELY...
-- NOT bringing so much face cream under the impression that no one uses face cream with SPF in Germany
-- NOT bringing ANY books with me (a good news magazine per month will last me... those Germans are wordy!)... they are just too heavy and I didn't read most of them.
-- still going to bring a stock of makeup from home because it is seriously ridiculously expensive here AND they don't make what I use anyway
-- not going to have to buy nearly as much stuff since I have everything I need already :-D yeah!
Well that is it for now... as for the packing and cleaning situation, I am sooo close to being done it isn't even funny :-D in Business class I am allowed to bring 2 pieces of hand luggage so I am bringing my little rolly and my backpack... in my little rolly there is nothing but BOOKS and CDs and DVDs... they never weigh hand luggage, and I am allowed to bring two 6kg (14 lbs, lol). I am also moving in with Lea from Tuesday through Friday morning. Should be fun! Except we wont have ANY space with all my stuff in there. But we will make it work somehow, I imagine.
Cheers,
Caitlin
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